all in a morning

After discussing the small explosion, at times square and uneccessary violence like
political terrorism

robyn: people don't know how to deal with ther emotions
11:40 AM
robyn: OO most importantly i saw williem defoe this morning his eyes are firce
11:45 AM
maria: holy shit

one more time without emotion

I got a day off from work today because of flooding and tornadoes. In NYC. Yeah. Totally normal. I have nothing to do. Nothing at all. Sitting waiting for webmail.

So I get to sit in my hot ass apartment all day and do basically nothing because it is too hot to do anything at all. At work the AC is excellent. At work the AC is free!

The Brita water pitcher is frozen solid. I have to drink tap water. Non filtered Tap water.

Everyone who is at work wishes they didn't go in. It's quiet because no one is in the city because no one could really get there except for the few "lucky" bastards at my office.

This weeks heat has made everyone sick too. Everyone is getting a cold. It's like the consumption. I feel like I am living in the 20's.

Last night I went to see the Yeah Yeah Yeahs and it kicked total ass. The two opening bands were a sight for sore eyes too. The 1st act was called "Girls Girls Girls". When they came out on stage I realized they were an all-female Motley Crue cover act. This would only happen to me. No one could make this shit up if they
tried.

The second band is called "The Tiny Masters" - it is a 10 year old girl and her 12 year old brother. They are from Brooklyn. They were entertaining, but I thought I was watching two female primordial dwarfs for about 10 minutes. Again, I couldn't make this shit up if I tried.

The YYY's are notoriously awesome and a NY band(imho). There are so many haters who rip on the Strokes and the YYY's as hipster bullshit. The fact is that both of these bands are so raw and passionate they make me feel good about NYC and music. The way these bands play and issue music is very old-school and they aren't the image machine that most bands are. That image stuff bores me to tears.

For example, Justin Timberlake doesn't look like he is having fun when he performs. He doesn't look happy ever. Yeah, he is raking in the money and I am sure he loves music but at such a cost. I can't concentrate on what he is doing because I cant see past how full of himself he is. I wouldn't be surprised if he had a nasty coke habit.

I am listening to the new Flight of the Conchords CD, The Distant Future, over and over today because I am bored to tears. It's pretty hilarious. And the stream is free thanks to spinner.com.

It is either that or make a booty call. I am that bored.

all along the clock tower

Lofts in the South Bronx. Above the former Estey Piano Company. The South Bronx is now being dubbed SoBro - this is sort of old news.

From Wikipedia:

"The "South Bronx" is not a completely neutral term, as it is one commonly associated with urban decay of the 1970s. The terms "Downtown Bronx" and "SoBro" have recently been coined in hopes of replacing this somewhat outdated term for the region, with the latter term "SoBro" meant to conjure Manhattan's more affluent SoHo neighborhood. It is popular for being the birth place of hip hop music and culture."

We drove through the area last night and I saw several cafes and bars along the way which totally freaked me out. "In November 1999, Scientific American noted: "The Mott Haven section of New York City's South Bronx has long been one of the poorest neighborhoods in the nation. The median household income of its residents, most of whom are African-American or Hispanic, is less than one third of the U.S. median."(Wikipedia). Less then 10 years later and it is turning around. I was left for dead in this area on morning in about 1999/2000 when monsoon rainstorms stopped all train service, and let me tell you, it was no treat. I was quite terrified.

I said to my friend "this area isn't worth what they want for it" and he said "people are preparing for the future". He was 100% correct. Lord only knows what another 8-10 years may bring. For more info on Mott Haven I point you to Forgotten NY.


My favorite building of Mott Haven was the Farberware Factory (Images) which closed down in the 90's. It was simply massive. It was razed four years ago (my old company supplied the tools, I knew then I was in a job that I hated) and is now the site, I believe, of a Con Ed plant. They also removed a smoke stack (cut it down actually) that was associated with I believe a Milk or Bread plant.

I have pots and pans from the 1950's the are stamped BRONX, NY on the bottom. Buy me all the pots and pans in the world, and I refuse to part with these. They were handed down from my Grandmother, to my mother, and then to me. Why? My father wanted "Tools of the Trade" pots and pans. The bottoms all burned. They have already gone through the set. My p's and p's are like new. Not one has even stained nor burned. I appreciate the past more than my Father, which i find very ironic.

There is not a wikipedia entry for "NoBro" which is where I live because there is no need to change any negative connotation just yet. Seems eventually we will have our own urban decay and they will have to come up with a nasty nickname for it first in order for it to rebirth and become someplace trendy and cool. As of now, Robyn and I are the hipster community of Morris Park. We bought our Old Navy Hoodies in anticipation as we wait for the storm.

happiness is a cold beer

Yesterday was so nice. Robyn and I walked the way over to Failte* and really enjoyed just taking in Kips Bay and looking around and chatting. She pointed out how she wishes she could do this more often and I agreed 100%. There was a time, before either one of us were very busy at all, that we were going to conquer neighborhood by neighborhood until we knew everything about everywhere.

Well. We are busy.

So we went to the bar. Drank beers. Yay! They had Sierra Nevada. Listened to the Rock-o-La (it was lame until we took over) and waited for her friends to arrive. Robyn works with some seriously nice people and I always have a great time around them. It's no frills and nice. They aren't phonies. No bullshit.

We had great conversations about concerts and our favorite concerts. One story was amazingly funny about how someone got to see Pearl Jam in some really great seats because his brothers fiance...and the like the biggest Pearl Jam fan ever.. was arrested for possession like 10 minutes before the show. So the brother called his brother to run on down and went to the show anyway citing "there was nothing I could do for her anyway"...and funny story.

A few people saw Nirvana. Points for me: I saw the Ramones and I met John Lydon. Robyn has seen every great band ever open for Guns N Roses apparently. She also saw Rage Against the Machine open for Smashing Pumpkins. Where the hell was I that day? Someone gave me the crazy eye when I said that some band I saw was like seeing the Who....lol. I think I was talking about the Strokes- who kick ass live but are in no way like the Who! I don't like the Who, which is probably why I said something silly like this. I meant the excitement obviously.

We all got kind of crazy to "Ain't Talking About Love" by Van Halen.

I also danced to "Rehab" finally in public. It was hawt.

I drank responsibly and got home in one piece. While for the bus we got to hear a couple fighting. The girl was drunk and emotional. The guy walked off, but he let her catch up with him and they got in a cab. We were so disappointed.

I talked Robyn's ear off about all of my feelings and then she feel asleep on the way home. Honestly, I don't know if it was boring or exhausting but boring and exhausting would be how I describe most if not all of the drama in my life.

I managed to meet one 40 year old drag queen (CoCo) and one very gay guy last night.

*Failte, pronounced "FALL-cha," means welcome in Irish. This place is one of the best bars I have ever been to.

new york saturday

another Saturday and another Saturday that i venture back into new york city. Manhattan that is.

it's so humid i can only hope that boozing takes the edge off. there is no point in trying to look really cute today- my allergies are going bananas and the heat is making my makeup cake.
i look like britney spears at the end of the night and it's only 5:11 pm and I haven't even gotten to the beginning of the night.

i am heading out with the room mate who is talking crazy about taking a shower cap with her to protect her newly dyed hair. she said " i will totally do it too" when i gave her the look.

today i went food shopping and it provided me some sort of therapy because I haven't gone food shopping in months. Seriously. I found it to be depressing because I always did it with the ex and I am reminded by all the meals we shared and created together. Don't feel bad. I don't get sad- I just get angry. And getting angry in Pathmark is a HUGE mistake. But today was kick ass. I said fuck him and I bought a bunch of spinach and hummus and i said FUCK HIM!!

lolz!

OK, we are off. Robyn says

"a blog a day keeps the moodies away"....."or something away"....

lets hope it's not a sex life away.

get over yourself

i woke up this morning with my usual set of plans only to realize that my cousin from Oklahoma remembered i would meet her in the city today, and i had sorta kinda forgot. So after about 10 minutes of brooding and deciding i should go and then there were 100 reasons why i shouldn't go, i brushed my hair, put on my converse and made my way into new york city. To lower Manhattan. On a Saturday.

anyone who knows me will tell you that getting me within 15 minutes of my place of work in the daytime weekend is not something I strive for. I only do this if i have to go into the office, and if I have to do that I am pretty pissed. The area is insanely crowded. Manhattan in general is insanely crowed on the weekends but Soho and China Town are monstrosities.

handbagpradaguccicouchhandbag

Of course there were the usual train delays and reroutes that make this all the more an enjoyable experience. While I was on the train a veteran of our fine war (the current one) came in to tell the riders a tale of how he was injured in the war and denied benefits and needed some money for food so I gave him all the quarters I was not going to be using because i nixed laundry to go see Oklahoma. I felt so good doing this. Not too minutes later, a second man came in, to tell us all he had suffered a stroke, he was a war veteran (of our last fine war,Vietnam) and needed some money for food. He only got 11 cents from me because that was all i had left. I felt miserable about this until I was distracted by the realization I was being kicked off the train at 42 street because of track work.

I got off the subway all together at bleeker street because they were going to skip a whole bunch of stops, including mine, so i decided i might as well walk because at this rate, i was wasting too much time with this mass transit nonsense. I bought a watch at swatch (hey, i like them. They hold up in my hectic lifestyle) and heading down crazy Broadway towards wall street. To meet my cousin and her family at the Trinity Church. And to walk the World Trade Center site.

Anyone who knows me will tell you I have no desire to walk the world trade center site and anyone who knows me knows why. I decided that today I wouldn't say a world, because the people from Oklahoma would probably think one of the following things-

- How unpatriotic! Never forget!
- You've never done this and you work by here? You must be too cool for the room.
- Wow. she is still traumatized by the event. Poor gal. We can go somewhere else.

None of these are entirely true and none of them are entirely false. I've seen the site 100
times - i just never go to see it. I don't like to breathe when I am down there. And it isn't because of the Deutsche Bank building and the horror stories about asbestos, which i should add I stood in front of for 10 minutes today, but just because....Some people simply became dust that day. You know....this disturbs me. I bet it disturbs you too.


Anyway....I made the best of it. I mean, what could i do? Be myself? Not today! I was amazed at my numbness and actual pleasure during the walk. People asked me questions and I had answers. We went into some of the Financial Building Centers that had been rebuilt and looked at plans for the future of the wtc site. I took a picture of the miniature construction diorama. (And by the way, it looks better as a diorama then on paper.) I sat on the stairs, relaxed, and talked to my cousins daughter about how i loved to shop at the World Trade Center. Told her about the great Century 21 (just the shopping, not how it saved one of my best friend's lives.No morbid stuff). I wasn't sad or sentimental or melancholy (an abnormal state attributed to an excess of black bile and characterized by irascibility or depression. ok.). I just was.

It seemed to take ages to get around there...and that is another reason I don't go. It is, after all, a construction site....it shouldn't take as long as it does to get anywhere as it does to get a few blocks down there. However, we then head up to Canal Street, to get Chinese food, and I see then where the exercise in trying to get from A to B is truly going to be tried. The place is lined, smushed, wall to wall people, everyday, so they can buy unbelievable, fake, gaudy, un-capitalistic crap. It's thirty times worse on a Saturday and I can see I am losing Oklahoma. I also learned today that many restaurants in Chinatown only take cash. I would have to tell them how much better they would do if they took plastic. The restaurants are closing down at an alarming rate. Oh well, no bother.

I couldn't have gotten off this crazy day of tourism at this point but for some sadistic reason I couldn't let it go. I was having the full on tourist experience. And now my team needed me where i excel. The Subway! I could have just walked them to the station and told them where to get off but I shivered at the concept of the 5 of them using the metrocard machines, not to mention the fact that the train may not go where it is supposed to and they would be faced with the same detours and delays as I had been. So we went - all of us. I also learned that if you buy a 10 dollar metro card, to be used for 5 people at 2 dollars each, the MTA will stop you at 4 people and say "exceeded limit". Why? Because it's inconvenient. That's why.

We stopped at Grand Central Terminal. Everyone was pleased. I was especially because it is my favorite place in NYC. No matter how busy, or how fast paced the day may be, the main concourse has a silence to it. Like a library. It is never as loud as it should be. It's simply the acoustics. It is beautiful. We spent more time in that room, looking at the ceiling and being bored by my knowledge about the cleanup of the station in the 90's, then I expected to. Finally, we got them to Port Authority so they could catch their bus. i had a long talk with my cousin walking east to west and i remembered why i like her so much, so this actually mad me sad to let her go away, which was my second change of heart for the day.

i love the city so much for it's history that I should really not be such a bitter pie about any part of it all. These are the things I am going to have to tell someone someday about....I know entirely too much about what happened 20-100 years ago and too little about what is going on now I guess. This new development boom bores me to tears I guess.

So now I am home and exhausted as could be from all the walking. Just sat down to eat some Tuna.

Do you know what it is like to try and eat Tuna with 3 cats in the house? It is f**king mayhem.

I am going to go read and pass out and hope my ankles do not hurt like holy hell tomorrow morning.

"Is it not cruel to let our city die by degrees, stripped of all her proud monuments, until there will be nothing left of all her history and beauty to inspire our children? If they are not inspired by the past of our city, where will they find the strength to fight for her future? Americans care about their past, but for short term gain they ignore it and tear down everything that matters. Maybe… this is the time to take a stand, to reverse the tide, so that we won't all end up in a uniform world of steel and glass boxes." - Jacqueline Kennedy-Onassis (on the potential destruction of Grand Central Terminal/Station)